Life's a bitch.

     For you, who might have chanced upon my blog for some random reason... if you do not wish to read about someone's problem and hear them whine about it, then move along and stop reading now.

     A couple months ago, on April 10, I moved to a different country. Not because I hated my old one.

Not because I didn't have friends there or anything to live for there. No. I was fine there. Happy.

     I moved because my father lives in this different country and he wants me to get a residency before I turn 18. If I look at the logic to it, this is a smart move. Because this country is far better than my previous country. But I did not want this. I did not want to move away from very important people in my life, especially one in particular.

     But let me take you back just a little farther.

     You see, I am a child from a broken home. But I did not weep about it (in public). I did not retaliate or rebel. I plastered on a smile and wanted to become the best of everything, a jack of all trades, just to make every single person who thought I would disintegrate into a moping, suicidal, shell of a kid eat all of their words. I became an achiever, a model student, the face of every competition my school felt I was perfect for but deep within, I was proud, self-centered and unfeeling.

     A couple of years passed and my "mask" of false happiness was erased. I got over the broken home business and I was happy with my friends. I was still a little proud but I wasn't as self-centered and numb like I was before. And then... I fell in love.

     He isn't perfect. He's far from it. But he has what I don't as I have what he does not. Our relationship isn't perfect either. We don't always see eye to eye. But it really does feel better, facing the world with someone. Someone who you hope someday will legally become your better half.

     My life still wasn't perfect compared to my "broken home" phase but I was happy. Very very happy. I had friends who love me and I person I dream about spending my life with. We only needed to finish school and work and we'd be set. What more should I ask for?

     Ah. But my dear reader, I am sure you know how life is. There are ups and downs. I had this major down, with my parents separating but then my world was rising again... this would only mean one thing would be nearing... another downer has my name written all over it.

     And BAM! I have to move to a different country. It's not even in the same continent as my old one. I feel so close to depression sometimes. The only way I can calm myself down is if I don't think about my situation that much. I love reading fiction novels, dreaming of home and writing down my ridiculously detailed 5-year plan. I keep on thinking about new stuff to worry about constantly. It's good that I have a notebook with me. It's keeping me sane.

     I really really really miss my boyfriend. Even though we talk on a daily basis, it's still a different story when it comes to companionship. I miss his hugs, his smell, his hands holding mine. We have been together for 2 years and 8 months when I left. It was maddening when he brought me to the airport. If I could only have taken him with me... or if I could say no to my father (he never really asked me if I wanted to go so I didn't have the privilege to say yes or no).

     Anyway, this blog will soon be filled with my rants, plans, worries and updates. I hope I at least keep some of you entertained. Thanks for reading.

The Sparrow Has Landed.

I completed my first year of college with a 1.75 GPA. I should have gotten a flat 1. I feel like a disgrace!

My college experience was alright. It didn't impress me or bore me.

I got a couple of acquaintances through that experience too. I can't really call them friends because I only knew them for a couple of months. LOL.

Why do you say I speak of college like I finished it already?

It is because, I have moved.

I cannot disclose my location until further notice though.

And I want to vent out my feelings here.

You see, I left a lot behind. I left someone very special to me behind.

I can't vent out all my feelings on my DeviantArt account because... it doesn't feel right.

Then I remembered I had a blogspot account and viola! Here I am again!

Here's my DA journal entry dated March 25:

I have only a couple of days left here and I can't understand how I feel about moving.

I mean, I'm happy that my life is taking on a new chapter but I keep thinking of what I'm leaving behind.

I'm trying my best not to sulk into the sadness of it all for the sake of my boyfriend.

I'm sure he'll be taking most of the blow from this.

'Cause I bet I'll be happy there. New country, new school, new friends.

While he'll still be here, in the same place, the same people with the exemption that I'll be replaced by a memory.

(This is starting to sound like I'm gonna die. Oh God! Please don't let me die this early!)

That's another thing that's bothering me. I'm getting scared of the flight going there.

I've been on an aircraft but for flights that only last a couple of hours not almost half a day!

I keep thinking that the plane might crash (or not even fly).

Anyway, I've been trying to keep my life pretty much the same as it has always been.

We even watched the Hunger Games (which was totally awesome even though there were a lot of stuff changed from the book)

Although I'm not accepting any clay commissions because of my great move (I used up all my clay).

Well... That's pretty much everything I wanted to say that isn't too personal to divulge in.The rest is too emotionally confusing that even I can't understand it.

My thoughts on college so far.

College is definitely a whole lot different from High School. The teachers are well... honestly... I prefer the ones in High School. My teachers (or one in particular) aren't as proficient in the lessons they teach. I can't read through my blockmates. A couple of cold wars have been springing up and I now doubt whether what they tell me is sincere or not.

I miss my classmates in High School. I miss how I know each other so well. I know all of their ticks, their waterloos, their likes, their individual attitudes. I miss how they became my siblings through the 4 years of being stuck with each other.

The business is starting up pretty slow too. I hope it catches on though. Sigh. My rant ends here.

First Blog :)

I have created this blog for the sheer joy of having an online diary, if you will. This blog shall consist of random rants, product hauls, travel reviews, my college experiences and dillemas and whatever random thing I would like to blog about. :)

I'm thinking of doing a couple of make-up reviews really soon. And my first day in college will be on the 15th. A wednesday. :)